One of the phrases I use in my sermons is “Belief Governs Will.” It is a simple phrase, yet how it plays out in our lives is profound and powerful. If I believe that someone is breaking into my car, my will (what I do) will kick into gear. Depending on the type of person I am I will confront (fight), or wait for them to leave (flight/freeze). If I choose the second option, I may even call the police and report it. What I believe about someone breaking into my car has governed my actions. “Belief Governs Will.” Everything we do in life, every action we carry out is rooted in a belief system. From the route I choose to drive to work to the food I prepare for dinner, there is a belief system governing it. This belief system is very complex. It involves both conscious and sub-conscious elements. Some beliefs we are aware of, others we are not. Yet at the bottom of it all is “belief.” Today we will examine how four different beliefs about God effect the way we relate to God, others, and ourselves. Often, but not always, our views are formed by the representative authority figures in our upbringing (notably fathers).
1.When We View God as Dictator
The Belief: Many people view God as the cosmic dictator. He makes the rules. He enforces the rules. He annihilates divergent voices and actions. This belief views God not just as the creator and overseer of all things, but as the direct controller of all things. Not only is nothing outside His knowledge and understanding, nothing is outside his direct, active control of all things. The belief that God is a dictator puts him at the forefront of all events that unfold in our lives, all circumstances we face, and the quality of relationships we have. Even if we believe God to be a benevolent dictator, it limits the environment for an intimate relationship with Him. At the end of the day, we cannot question God because “His ways are not our ways.” He understands more than we do and therefore has the ultimate position of controlling everything. We simply go along with it.
The Outcome: When we believe God is a dictator, we place ourselves and others within a hierarchy of dictatorial relationships. Someone who asserts control either through aggression or manipulation is someone who believes their God is a dictator. As they view God as the ultimate dictator who controls what He is responsible for, they mirror that view in their own life and relationships. We can see it most clearly in the way they parent or were parented. Whenever a parent imposes their demands for certain behaviors or ways to accomplish chores and tasks, we see the dictator coming out. When they disallow inquiry and investigation (within safe boundaries), the parent is exerting control over their children. The same dynamic can be seen in some people in management positions. They tend to feel a need to exert control as a means of validating their position. Micro-managing is a symptom of such. When we believe that God is a dictator, we will become dictators anytime we are placed in a position of authority over someone else.
2. When We View God as Judge/Disciplinarian
The Belief: When people view God as a judge or disciplinarian, they tend to go about certain activities (particularly those that reflect vulnerabilities) as if they are walking on egg shells. They believe there are particular ways in which to appease God that will cause him to withhold his judgment or punishment. This belief can often lead to viewing God as an unpredictable bringer of pain. Viewing God as a judge or disciplinarian can lead to a lower view of the self. Prevalent would be the belief that anything bad that happens is deserved. It is a belief lived out in fear, hoping to avoid the coming judgment. It is easy to see this belief system develop in households where intense corporal punishment was the rule for any violation. And not just any violation, anything that rubbed the parent wrong. That makes the belief system even more fearful and exacerbating because the boundaries of punishable/non-punishable actions is always moving based on how the parent is feeling.
The Outcome: Those who believe God to be a giver of punishments eventually develop relationships where this cycle happens. They place themselves either in the position of punisher or punshee. They feel they deserve the bad that happens to them because they deserved it. They also feel it is their place to punish others when their authority is questions and their wishes are not obeyed. When people believe God is the judge/disciplinarian, they believe two things: 1. Discipline = Spanking. 2. No vulnerable expressions are safe. This belief system can often be found in victims of domestic and sexual abuse. They have internalized the belief that who they are is simply deserving of harsh punishment. They also interpret such punishment as a means of love since that is how those in authority over them treated them.
3. God as Absent/Uncaring
The Belief: When people view God as absent or uncaringly distant, they adopt a suvivalist way of living and relating. Belief in an absent God was the premise for Deism during the 18th century. Either God created things and stepped away to let things operate on their own or there is no God at all. The belief in an absent God does have the tendency to relativize absolute concepts that involve anything transcendent. Since the belief system was helpfully built from the top down, it was built from the bottom up. Adherents to an absent God belief system may not have had significant intimate relationships growing up with a loving parent figure. Their concept of God is based on the absence of a loving parent.
The Outcome: Those who believe God is absent or doesn’t care will often find themselves emotionally shut off from friends and family. The belief that God is distant leads them to maintain a distance in all relationships. When they were most needing a loving embrace, they were denied. Since they have had to grow up in an emotional survival mode, they have difficulty being intimate and vulnerable with others. Survival mode causes people to view relationships as transactions. They will give something in exchange for something else. All attempts another may make to be genuinely intimate and vulnerably is viewed either as an attempted transaction, or a ruse. Trusting is a foreign issue for such people. All people are emotionally distant survivors. That is the way of their world. Belief in an absent God leads to a practice of emotional distance in all their relationships. Often times they have been victimized by predators and used for another’s gain. Trust has been violated. Their circumstances have heightened their instincts for dangerous people, but often distrust their instincts and repeat patterns of using and getting used.
4. God as Loving and Gracious
The Belief: People who believe God is loving and gracious tend to have a positive view of God and authoritative people in their upbringing. They believe God is for them and not against them. That He empowers them to live good lives and gives instruction and guidance along the way. They believe they are responsible for their own decisions and consequences. However, they also believe God is gracious and forgiving. They likely had loving parents who were emotionally connected. Their formative authority figures encouraged personal growth and decision-making skills. That experience is carried over into their view of God. They were made aware of their mistakes and were responsible for cleaning them up. They were encouraged to make themselves better, even through the progress of failure. All this effects the way the view God. Consequently, it effects their decisions. “Belief Governs Will.” They make decisions and act in ways that are constructive. They do not give up when they falter, but learn from it
The Outcome: People who believe God is loving and gracious are, in turn, loving and gracious toward others. They know the challenges and fulfillment found in building into their life and the lives of others. They have a positive view of God, themselves, and others. They know how to relate to people in a healthy, loving, intimate way. There is no manipulation or control present. They don’t use others. Where a person who believes God is distant will view relationships as transactions, and a person who believes God is a punisher will enact those beliefs by having toxic relationships, the person who believes God is loving and gracious sees those behaviors as foreign and destructive. They will set up boundaries against such people. That doesn’t mean they won’t help others see a more life-giving way, it means they will be careful in how they show and teach others how to relate better.
So those are four ways that our view of God effects the way we relate to other people. Even within Christianity, we have seen these tendencies play out in both the past and the present. There are many more ways in which our belief system governs our decisions, our relationships, and our lifestyles. There is, however, hope of change through the grace of Jesus Christ. As Pastor Byron has said, “God is not in the business of making bad people good. He is in the business of making dead people alive.” The apostle Paul talks about being crucified with Christ. That means our old man, our old way of relating and believing dies. The resurrection is a new man, a new way of relating and believing. This is a life-long process for all who come to Christ. That is why we cannot afford to sit in judgment when we see someone on a different part of the path. We don’t know where they’re coming from. We don’t know what type of belief system they are coming out of, or where they are in the process. When we refuse to understand where people are, we may possibly be reinforcing their former destructive belief system by our actions (being that we are the ones who represent Christ on earth as His church). Jesus instructs us to Judge not, lest we be judged, precisely because it is not our place. We call people to a better life through love and grace. So with all that in mind, let us seek to know and understand where people are in their journey. Let us encourage them in ways the bring life, love, and truth.